She's Just A Girl Too
You should be kinder with your words
You know, I’ve always had such high expectations for my mom. I used to think she was supposed to have all the answers to every problem I had—like a savior, my own superwoman without the cape, always ready to swoop in. But as a kid, I can’t tell you how frustrated I’d get when she didn’t know what to do. I’d watch her try everything she could think of, stumbling through different solutions until something finally worked. And in my little brain, I’d be screaming, “You’re my mom! Aren’t you supposed to know everything?”
I mean, it’s almost like there should be some kind of handbook, right? Like, “Congratulations, you’re a mother! Here’s your manual with everything you’ll ever need to know!” But guess what? There’s no handbook. None. Zero. Every mom out there is just figuring things out for herself, one day at a time.
Just yesterday, my mom was telling my cousins how she gave birth to me at 28. I’m her last kid, the youngest of three. And at first, I thought, “28—that’s a grown-up age!” But then, when you really think about it, she already had kids before then, and suddenly it doesn’t feel so grown-up anymore. But still, this was her life—her choice. She wanted kids. And I can’t help but feel like, well, she should’ve been more ready. You know what I mean?
But, let's be honest, I have people my age and even less who are already mothers and are doing their best to survive. Imagine me that I don't even know what I am doing. Now, place a child into this mix of confusion and you get a recipe for disaster.
'But, they say the motherhood instinct would kick in once you feel the child kick or hear their heartbeat for the first time'
Maybe, yes. But does that instinct magically teach you how to be the perfect mom? How to be supermom overnight? No way. Unlike other jobs, this is one that you learn on the job and obviously there's going to be mistakes because this is your first time.
So, maybe we need to cut our moms some slack. Because let’s face it: she’s only human too. Behind the title of “mom,” she’s still a girl—just a person with her own fears, dreams, and uncertainties. It’s so easy to forget that when we’re busy thinking of her as some kind of all-knowing figure. But she’s figuring life out just like the rest of us. So, when my mom goes to report me to her mom, sometimes, I just laugh because deep down, she's really just a girl too.
Imagine this—when my mom had her first baby, she wasn’t just learning how to be a mom. She was also still figuring out who she was. She didn’t stop being a person just because she became a mother. That’s a lot to maintain, isn’t it? It’s unfair to expect her to have it all together right from the start.
So, maybe we need to be kinder. Every time she messed up, she learned. Every time she seemed lost, she was searching for the best way forward. And she did all of that out of love—not because she was perfect, but because she cared. That’s the thing. Our moms aren’t exactly superheroes—they’re women who are doing their best, day in and day out and maybe that’s their superpower.