If you don't try, you have already failed

I was going to start this with "It's been a minute," but I realized it's been too long to use that expression.

Hi there, it's Ayo once again, and I'm writing to you after months, but I believe you need to share in this experience.

The past few months for me have been terrible, as I've had to try many new things, but being me, I've only tried if I could predict the end. So, yeah, I've almost always gotten a positive result.

Let me share a little secret with you: shhhh, don't tell anyone - I am scared of failing.

(stares down in shame)

A friend said something to me recently, in his words, "Na you be the book wey dey no suppose judge by the cover," which translates to "You're the book that is not supposed to be judged by the cover." This statement came after he realized I wasn't (permit me to use a Gen Z term) "all that."

As much as I try to present a strong front, I would admit that I'm not 'all that' because I have many fears, but I believe the fear of failure is at the very top. This is why I was debating trying out a particular thing, knowing fully well that I barely had a chance to succeed at it. I was going to give up when I told a friend, and he said something along the lines of "If you don't try it, how will you know if you will succeed or fail?"

Now, I'm not the type to take advice from people, but I took this one, I tried, and I failed. If you were expecting to hear that I succeeded and lived happily ever after, welcome to real life. Sometimes we win, sometimes we lose, but I don't like the latter.

This also reminded me that I don't recall ever getting a rejection email; almost every time I applied for something, I knew I would get it, and I realized that it took the fun out of it because I already graded myself before others could. So, in the past few weeks, I've taken many decisions and applied for many things I'm not sure of getting and I got rejected for every single one.

Now, this is a feeling I'm not familiar with and to be honest, I do not know how to process it. I'm not sad though - just there.

On the other hand, I realized that failure is in two ways - failure after trying and failure before trying - many of us believe that by not trying, we have removed ourselves from failure without realizing that not even trying means you have failed.

So, don't be like Ayo used to be; take that decision, try, and send that email. The worst they can say is "NO," and if they say more than that, it still won't cost you your life.

Love always,

Ayo🤍