Forgive Yourself, It's Your First Time Too
I did promise to write again soon. Here we are.
I was at an event last week and met someone who is a veteran in my field. Like every young person seeking to grow and network, I walked up to him and had a brief conversation. But somewhere in the middle of that conversation, I messed up an important detail. He laughed it off, gave me his contact, and told me to reach out—but I haven’t. Well, not yet.
With each hour that passes by, I’m reminded of that contact I have yet to reach out to. Each time, I cringe at the fact that I had to make a mistake in our first meeting.
I remember, after that conversation, how I sought out my friend in the crowd and told her what had just happened. Then, a couple of hours later at night, I was recounting it to another friend over the phone. When I told my friend what happened, he asked me what the man's response was, and I told him the man was so cool about it. My friend told me to just let it go and reach out—besides, "it's not that deep."
Well, it is that deep. For me, at least.
Society, family, and the internet have slowly drummed the need to be perfect into our minds—so much so that we forget to just live sometimes. We forget that this is our first time living, and it's okay to make mistakes as long as we learn from them in the end.
It’s the same way that, when we fall, we no longer look back to see what made us fall so we can avoid it. Instead, we look around to make sure no one saw us—because God forbid someone is there to witness it and tell the story. We constantly act like we are being watched, so now we must be prim, perfect, and proper.
You know, I took a loss recently and didn’t know how to process it. Not because I couldn’t cry or scream or react how normal people would—but because I simply didn’t know how. Maybe I have been a little bit privileged, maybe a little entitled, so that when life began "life-ing," I didn’t know how to deal with it.
Now, I’ve learned that adulthood will come with more mistakes, losses, and slip-ups. And the earlier I learn to forgive myself quickly, the better.
And maybe I'd finally contact the man tomorrow — rip the band aid off at once. You never know what would happen tomorrow
Just maybe.
Just incase you didn't know, I really appreciate your feedback. So if you leave one, you're making my day.
It’s your first time living in this hour and minute. Whenever you make mistakes, you’ve got to learn to stop asking why or waiting on the consequences. Sometimes they just happen for no reason.
Be confident in yourself regardless of your flaws. Cognitive dissonance will always come to play but how you stay grounded is reminding yourself that one slip up doesn’t define who you are and there’s no need to rationalize your weaknesses.
Weaknesses can be strength if you market them properly. It could have come off to him that you just needed him to guide you more which makes you see more approachable. Reaching out and saying thanks for the other time will make you seem more teachable.
Life really isn’t as complex as we see it